My Brand of Optimism, or How I Practically Find the Silver Lining

Blind optimism is sickening. Yes, it is true, it can always be worse... but when you're having a bad day, or a bad month, or a bad year it's hard not to be selfish and think that what you're going through is as bad as it gets. I've had a reasonable does of ups-and-downs in the last few months, events that have been serious blows to my ego and have made me question just about everything I'm doing/have done/intend to do. Onward and upward is an easy mantra to say, but not always the easiest to follow. Yet, despite being kicked around by moody admissions boards, fickle fencing tournaments and a handful of other unpleasant events, I remain generally optimistic. How? No, it's not through some path to enlightenment found through meditation and happy phrases. Instead, I have a far simpler solution for getting over life's hiccups.

I believe nothing helps you get over something like a good laugh -- find a friend, rent a movie, whatever, just get yourself laughing. Then get a cup of tea and a cookie.

If the laugh, tea and cookie don't do it, well then head for the gin and open up a box of Annie's Mac and Cheese and fill up to your heart's content. Fat and alcohol usually make up for what a good laugh and sugar can't do.

Advice from Women of Centuries Past for Women of the Present Century on Procuring a Valentine

From the ever wise Jane Austen via the ever pragmatic Miss Lucas in Pride and Prejudice (1813):
"A slight preference is natural enough; but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement. In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better shew more affection than she feels."

In other words: If you like the fella, you'd better whip out the marquee, because he's so dense he'll miss your subtle hints. And while you're trying to let him know through telepathy, some other hussy will flaunt cleavage and steal you man.



From the first edition of Godey's Lady's Book (Jul. 1830):
"WHEN we are in the company of sensible men, we ought to be doubly cautious of talking too much, lest we lose two good things - their good opinions, and our improvement; and disclose one thing which had better have been concealed - our self-sufficiency; for what we have to say we know, but what they have to say we know not."

The bottom line: Don't let men know you're an independent thinker and smarter than them, because they're just not interested in women that know more than they do.


Following in a similar vein, Truman Capote's ever wonderful Holly Golighty of Breakfast at Tiffany's (1950) tells us exactly what women should learn to talk about if they want to impress a man with their intellect:
"There's so few things men can talk about. If a man doesn't like baseball, then he must like horses, and if he doesn't like either of them, well, I'm in trouble anyway: he don't like girls."

Okay, so Capote wasn't a female author, but I think he got this one just about right. Keep it simple girls -- sports, men get sports. Pick a team, learn a few stats (yes, stats -- don't just say you think Derek Jeter is the best player in baseball with out a number to back it up) and buy a cap.



And just remember, when romance doesn't seem to be blooming take Elizabeth Gaskell's words to heart: "A man... is so in the way in a house."