Thursday, December 25, 2008

Songs I can Wait a Year For...

Mum: "Whatever happened to Silent Night?!?!"
Dad: "You kept talking."


There's a reason why traditional Christmas carols have been sung for several hundred years -- they're good. I don't know what the radio DJs were thinking this year, but for whatever reason all they felt like playing was insipid "pop" Christmas songs. A few weeks ago I posted the songs I most enjoy at Christmas time. Now I am posting the songs that I will happily wait (at least) a year to hear again...

Alvin and the Chipmunks -- Christmas Don't Be Late
All I know is that Alvin still wants a hoola hoop and I want to feed those little chipmunks to my terriers.

John Lennon -- Happy Christmas (war is over)
I don't need my Christmas songs to be pontificating. Could that chorus be repeated any more times? (I know this is a favorite for many... sorry)

John Lennon* -- Give Peace a Chance
See above.

Paul McCartney* -- Wonderful Christmas Time
Again, someone turn off the repeat function on the chorus.

Ashley Tisdale, George Michaels, or whoever -- Last Christmas (I gave you my heart)
It's just terrible. I want my Christmas songs to be about Jesus and Mary and the Three Wise Men and Santa, not about recovering broken hearts.

Lou Monte -- Dominic the Donkey
I want Father Christmas, not the God Father.

Band Aid -- Do they Know it's Christmas
Awful awful awful.

Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
I think this is supposed to be an attempt at a humorous Christmas song. It's just horrific. "Should we open up her gifts or send them back?" Please, send this one back.

Bruce Springsteen -- Santa Clause is coming to town
In general, I can't stand the Boss nor can I stand rocked out versions of early American standards. So this one just bats a big zero on my list.

If there are any I missed please feel free to add. There are oh so many more...

*I really dislike most John Lennon and Paul McCartney sans Beatles songs. Their Christmas ones are particularly hateful

another reason why I love Christmas: Click Here

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Christmas in the Kitchen

How about a three course meal for 10 people? You betcha! Thought I'd share what I'm preparing for my family and friends on Christmas Eve and why you might find me passed out before midnight. So far, the dessert course is under control... as for the rest of it... we'll it's gotta get done sometime before 7pm. No problem!

Pre-dinner Drinks Snacks:
Salmon Pinwheels

Quiche Loraine


1st Course:
Winter Salad of Beets, Romaine and Radicchio lettuces
Goat's Cheese
Cranberry Vinaigrette

2nd Course:

Roast Tenderloin
with Garlic & Nutmeg Roasted Brusselsprouts

Pipe Rigate with Butternut Squash and Arugula in a white wine Broth

Buttermilk Cheddar Biscuits

Dessert:
Maritime Rum Cake
with Winter fruit compote and fresh whipped cream

Assorted Homemade Cookies

(note the shameless links to my other blog)

Monday, December 22, 2008

6 Word Cover Letters

In these lean economic times, with thousand upon thousands of resumes circulating the business world, human resources appreciate short cover letters. The following is a fantastic example courtesy of "Barbara Stanwyck". Read and learn.


Important Corporation
Park Avenue High Rise
New York, NY 10001

To Whom It May Concern,

Smiles wide, types fast, good enough?

Thank you for your consideration.

BS

[Resume Attached]

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Thinking Domestically


"It is the aim of this volume to elevate both the honor and the remuneration of all the employments that sustain the many difficult and sacred duties of the family state, and thus to render each department of woman's true profession as much desired and respected as are the most honored professions of men." (Catherine Beecher & Harriet Beecher Stowe, The American Woman's Home. 1873 edition, p13).

Christmas is upon us and if there is one thing I do, without fail, during the holiday season it is that I turn absurdly domestic. Those that know me best know that I am happiest in the kitchen (when I'm not in a museum) and most at peace in the bucolic "country." But when the air turns crisp and the white puffs of snow gather on the evergreens, my affinity for cooking and roaring fires transforms this 4th Wave Feminist into a Victorian housewife. It's amazing how with a little holiday cheers I can so quickly sell my soul to the Cult of Domesticity.

As I was baking multiple batches of holiday cookies tonight, I started thinking about some of the interesting texts that have popped up while I've been researching my thesis. My work is grounded in the history of 19th century women, and to me the most captivating primary sources are the Lady's journals and advice books that flooded the market beginning mid-century.

Women like "Mrs. Beeton" and Catherine Beecher were the original Martha Stewarts, providing advice to freshly minted housewives in their lengthy publications on household management. Meanwhile, author Edith Wharton was writing "The Decoration of Houses" -- the woman's go-to guide of interior decoration -- and the Philadelphia-based Godey's Lady's Book was circulating coast to coast.

It's oddly appropriate that this nerdy art historian's thoughts wander back to the 19th century during the Christmas season (and let's put aside the fact that when I refer to "the 60s," I mean 1860). Christmas as we know it was essentially invented in the Victorian era. In 1843 Prince Philip imported the tradition of the Christmas tree to England, which then hopped the Atlantic. In the very same year, Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol. The first Christmas card was printed mid-century while department stores were also a phenomenon of the 1800s.

Given my obsession with all things Victorian (from their neuroses to their corsets), I could go on and on. But there should be a point to these ramblings and it is this: sometimes, we take traditions for granted and in doing so, these traditions lose a bit of meaning and a bit of their freshness.

So a few words to close from Dickens' masterwork:
"it was always said of him, that he [Scrooge] knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God Bless Us, Every One!"

All I want for Christmas

This is the first year that my parents didn't receive a Christmas list from me. Usually on the first of December, to facilitate their buying, I email them a document containing an ordered and illustrated list of the things I need/want for the upcoming New Year. But not this Christmas. I was too busy to think about what I wanted, and I felt guilty knowing their retirement fund was paying for another degree in Art History.

With the current state of the economy and with Christmas only a few days away and my parents and friends baffled as to what would make me happiest this season, I have come up with the following short list, which I think should be reasonably easy to satisfy (I highly recommend clicking on the 3rd item's link):

1. Michael Phelps
2. A massage
3. A massage from Michael Phelps

Monday, December 15, 2008

Economists Release Revolutionary Economic Indicator: the TEI

Economists at Perdue University have recently released a new system for measuring the stability of the economy, the Turkey Economic Indicator. Named for the Thanksgiving season's dinner-time staple, the TEI examines minor shifts in consumers buying habits around the holiday season.

"The media and the Fed have been so concerned with consumers and the fate of durable goods, like cars or homes, that they have forgotten to look at the everyday cutbacks people make to save money," explains Professor Mashamar Yamerts, who initiated the research behind the development of the TEI. "Changes around the holiday season are perhaps the most telling about the stability of our economy as a whole."

Thanksgiving is a time of family and feasts and is not typically a day when people concern themselves with moderation. "If people are cutting back at Thanksgiving, you can bet they are cutting back on all consumption."

Furthermore, the recent trend in organic, free-range and cruelty-free food products has resulted in an increase in the average family's annual expenditure on grocery items. But the TEI, which measures changes in the sale of grocery items and in particular the changes in the sale ratio of conventional to organic/free-range turkeys, shows that many consumers are shying away from the all-natural food trend.

Buyers for grocery chains like Whole Foods and A&P anticipated another increase in demand for organic birds for the 2008 season. "Last November and December, we oversold the number of organic turkeys our suppliers could provide for us," recounts a Whole Foods store manager, who requested to go unnamed. "It was a disaster. Who would imagine an organic turkey shortage? To get ready for this year, we preordered 100 more organic birds for our store. But we saw nothing near last year's demand for this type of turkey. It looks like we're going to be offering a lot of discounted Moroccan-turkey salad in our prepared food bar for the next few weeks."

The TEI saw the percentage of organic turkeys purchase drop 5% in 2008, well below 2005 levels. It appears people have gone back to their Butterballs or their store brands in the face of economic uncertainty. "Consumers can save upwards of $10-20 dollars, depending on the size of the birds, by giving up the organic or free-range label." And when consumers are hosting a house full of in-laws and third cousins, every dollar saved on a turkey is another dollar for post-party dry-cleaning bills.

Yamerts and his colleagues noted a few other changes in consumer grocery spending this Thanksgiving. The sale of marshmellows and yams also declined while white and Yukon-gold potatoes saw an increase of 2.3% in sales. It appears as though consumers who once considered baked yams with mini-marshmellows a holiday staple have decided to switch out one root vegetable for another, replacing the sweet yam dish with simple, old-fashioned mashed potatoes. Again, Yamerts chalks up the change in traditions to price points. The average price of a pound of yams is $1.82, while potatoes typically come in under $0.70 a pound. Additionally, the higher number of ingredients needed to make the baked yams brings the average price of this side dish to about $2.00 a person. Mashed potatoes usually only require standard pantry/fridge items and thus tend to cost about $1.00 per person.

Yamerts considers his study to be revolutionary, but he acknowledges that the TEI can not make real economic forecasts until early 2009 when researchers have the grocery receipts from the Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza and New Years food and liquor buying rush. Once these numbers are collected and evaluated, Yamerts, et al., will turn their sites to the Easter and Passover holidays when they begin compiling data for the M-CBEI (Matzo/Chocolate-Bunny Economic Indicator).

Monday, December 8, 2008

My Holiday Party Playlist

From Thanksgiving through Boxing Day, it's Holiday Party after Christmas after tree-trimming ceremony. These are more or less my favorite holiday songs and the ones that are my go-to when company is in the house. It's A little bit of Tradition. A little contemporary. Very Merry Christmas

1. Brenda Lee -- Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree
2. Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan -- God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
3. Transiberian Orchestra -- Carol of the Bells
4. Gene Autry -- Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer
5. Doris Day and Bing Crosby -- Baby It's Cold Outside
6. James Taylor -- Go Tell it on the Mountain
7. Bring a Torch Jeanette Isabella
8. Jingle Bells
9. Eartha Kit - Santa Baby
10. Walking in a Winter Wonderland
11. Angels We Have Heard on High
12. Good King Wenceslas
13. Mariah Carey -- All I want for Christmas (is You)
14. We Three Kings
15. Brian Setzer Orchestra -- Boogie Woogie Santa Claus
16. The Nutcracker Suite
17. The Ronettes - Sleigh Ride

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Getting Personal in my Personal Statement

I am Sisyphus and the wrath of my gods have given boulders in the form of research proposals, papers, and "personal statements." Right now, my boulder has taken on the shape of a personal statement, and it's a little heavier than the ones I've pushed before.

This is the third time I've had to apply to institutions of higher learning and I'm still not entirely sure what constitutes a "personal statement." I mean, when journalists want to "get personal" with a celebrity or politician, they usually ask about their love life. Now, I don't think the admissions board of Columbia or Princeton wants to hear a Carrie Bradshaw-esque rant about why I'm still single. I mean, I'm no Elle Woods here... and this ain't no Harvard Law School -- a video of me in a bikini won't sufficiently plead my case.

What I do know is that the personal statement required for graduate school applications is not the same thing as the personal essay required by college applications. The "Personal Essay" allows room for creativity, for nostalgia, for anecdotes and for recollections of life-altering events. It can be sentimental. It can be funny. It can have a moral. It can be about a pet dog. etc. The Personal Essay is its own genre of non-fiction writing -- a great genre of non-fiction writing; my favorite genre of non-fiction writing.

The big difference between the personal essay and the personal statement is that the personal statement comes with that "statement" clause. Just as in the personal essay, I'm supposed to talk about me -- I'm supposed to tell my audience something about what makes me a beautiful and unique snowflake. And then I'm supposed to add a "statement of intent" which essentially means "research proposal." Oh, and I'm supposed to tell them what I want to be when I grow up. Can I say: "Simon Schama complete with the Emmy?"

So, not only do I have to explain why this girl with a BA in Economics and a MA in Art History would be a valuable addition to the PhD student body, but I also have to put forward an intelligent and original topic of research that some established academic would want to mentor into a dissertation.

Oh Good Grief.

No wonder this Sisyphus is sweating a little more than usual as she plods up her mountain of academia, personal-statement-boulder on her back. But remember, like Camus said, "Il faut imaginer Sisyphe heureux." And believe me, I'm far far happier pushing this boulder than the one I'd be towing if I wanted to be a banker...

Friday, November 28, 2008

An Art Historian's Take on Michael Phelps

Michael Phelps is the new Belvedere Torso.

I've been saying this for the past four years, but this month's GQ officially confirms the intuition I've had since that 2004 Vanity Fair Bruce Weber shoot. (I love Bruce Weber).

The Belvedere Torso, a fragmented male nude sculpted in the age of Ancient Greece, inspired artists for centuries. Not only was it held as an image of the ideal masculine physique, but it was also the model for bodies in the Last Judgment of Michaelanglo's Sistine Chapel and continues to be copied by artists, in all media, up to the present day. Google it and you'll find thousands of 19th engravings that are either pure copies of or are images inspired by the Belvedere Torso (I'm also fairly certain several plates in Goya's "Disasters of War" are modeled on the Torso... morbid, but Goya was an artist who loved his art history).

And now we have uber-Olympian Michael Phelps. There are so many levels on which this comparison between an Olympian and a Grecian sculpture works, so I'll leave most of them for you to ponder while I gush over this particular photograph and why it's so interesting to us art history nerds.

To me, the true beauty of Mark Selgier's image (above (c) GQ) lies in its reference to the classical masterpiece -- an image of marble-white torso caught in action, twisting to reveal his divine musculature. I should mention that the Belvedere torso is thought to be a representation of the demi-God Hercules. And let's face it, Phelps has become the modern version of a demi-God, both for his athletic prowess and for his A-list celebrity status.

So many photos of Phelps are images of pure sex (check out the GQ cover and the water shot from the same issue). Yet while the composition of this photograph does ultimately draw our attention to Phelps' "manhood," we don't look at the image and think nights between satin sheets with an Olympic stud-muffin. We see an athlete and an ideal masculine body -- which is pretty sexy, but is also breathtakingly beautiful in a very chaste sort of way.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Curled up in front of the fire with a....

laptop.

Yes, that's right. I just enjoyed a Rockwell-esque Thanksgiving and now, as I sit in front of the fireplace of my parents' circa 1900 farmhouse, terriers at my feet, I am the quintessential image of winter-time domesticity. The quintessential bug-in-a-rug, except for the small detail that in my lap is neither a book nor a cup of cocoa. No, in my lap is a computer.

Man, the times they are a-changin'.

Once upon a time, I'd fall asleep in front of the fire, curled up on a tattered baby's blankie. Eventually, I started taking a novel, a coloring book or a copy of the New Yorker to the leather armchair and throw an extra log on the blaze. Last year, I had a pile of term papers to edit before the final end of semester crunch. But this yuletide season, thanks to wireless routers and accessible outlets, I am seated by the hearth with my laptop and a glass of wine, pounding away at PhD application personal statements (and ever insightful blog posts).

At least I'm not text messaging and listening to my ipod...

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Famous First Words

Behind every adult is a "funny" baby story. A story her parents like to whip out in fits of nostalgia.

You know what kind of stories I mean -- your parents have at least three about you that they've told you 1,000 times, your cousins 50 times, and your friends at least a dozen.

Well, for those of you who haven't had the fortune of meeting my parents, these are the stories they're likely to tell about me when you do finally meet them (potential boyfriends, take note). For those that do know Mama and Papa Reckling, you'd understand why these are probably their favorite toddler-Kathleen tales.


Famous First Words:
Apparently, I was a late talker. I was almost 2 and there had been no "Ma ma" and no "da da." Just some squeaks and hand gestures. They were starting to get worried I was "slow." But then I had a break-through that quieted their fears... and gave rise to a few new ones.

There I was, with my big blue doe eyes and my curly blond hair (yes, blond), perched on the stairs joyfully playing with my stuffed dog. But oh no! Fiasco! I dropped the dog down the stairs.

I looked at the beloved toy dog, and cried "Oh, Shit!"

Personally, I think it was a sign of genius-level intellect -- obviously, I understood that phrases like "oh, shit" were best used in moments of frustration. My father took this a sign my mother would be a bad influence. My mother was relieved to know that, along with her curls, I had inherited her brains...



Born to Shop

My father was holding a toddler me in his arms while the cashier was ringing up a few items he had purchased at the drug store. In my father's other hand was his wallet, open, poised to provide payment for the listerine. I reached over to the wallet, pulled out his Amex and handed it to the cashier. Clearly, from early on, I understood the ease of paying with plastic.


Hockey Players Don't Cry
When I was 4, I slipped on a bar of soap and split my head open. Of course, it hurt and there was blood and I was crying frantically all the way to the doctor's office. Then when they told me they were going to have to sew it up, well the sobs and screams soared to new decibels. My father looked at me, and said "Hockey players don't cry." Well, for whatever reason that turned off the waterworks and there wasn't another peep out of me, even while the doctor stitched me up.

I think this is my father's favorite toddler tale, especially since the day he overheard three of his 6-foot, 200-pound rugby players talking about what kind of tea they prefer -- which just so happened to be the day after he heard a 20-year-old me compare how much I could bench-press with a few of my girlfriends.

All About Me As Breifly as Possible

Not long ago, I purchased a copy of Not Quite What I Was Planning: 6 Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure. It is a book that confirms beyond a question of doubt that brevity is indeed the source of wit.

So what would this obscure writer say if she were asked to contribute a pithy yet telling 6 word biography? Here are the possibilities (I'll let you pick your favorite)...

Plays hard, has many bruises.

Always takes the scenic route.

Feet built for heels; knees disagreed.

Always wears mascara; doesn't own hairbrush.

Never learned to ride bike. Walks.

Brilliant moments balanced by frequent incoherence.

Always makes it work...usually.

From hiking boots to high heels.

Played to win; lost often.

Bought friends with baked goods.

Jeans didn't fit thighs. Blamed genes.

Many boyfriends and yet still single.

Laughs loud, often.

I read too much Jane Austen.

Learned to embrace carbohydrates and thighs.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Art? Art History! It's reputable!

Questions folks have asked me about my life as an art historian, my replies, their responses:

At the salon to a visibly very wealthy woman:
"You're at Columbia! That's fantastic. So is my son. What are you studying."
"I'm a grad student in art history."
My mother: "But she did her undergrad there in Economics."
Woman: "Well thank goodness for that. She knows some men then."
Me: "Not enough that make enough money. That's why I study in the business school library."

With a friend:
"So, are there any straight men in art history."
"Yes! There are 3."
"In your program?"
"No. In the whole world of art history. oh, and 2 are married."


With my High School Physics teacher:
"What are you doing graduate work in?"
"Art history."
"So that means you're going to be a barista at Starbucks."
"No, that means I'm going to own a coffee shop in the east village."
"So really you plan to unemployed."
"More or less."

With my nail technician:
"What can you do with a PhD in Art History? Be a curator at the Met or something?"
"Sure. But I want to be a professor and write books."
"Is there any money in that?"
"Not really. But I plan to marry well, so it'll be okay."


at a book launch at an art gallery:
"So what kind of art do you study?"
"American art, but I focus on the period between 1860 and 1940."
"Why that particular field?"
"Because no one believes there was art in American before 1940."


At an alumni event 2 days later:
"What kind of art do you study?"
"American Art made between 1860 and 1940."
"There was art in American before 1940?"


At a downtown party, with a lawyer:
"What are you writing your paper on?"
"I'm working on a piece about images of logging on the West Coast of Canada and in general, the history of environmentalist concerns in Canadian painting. So, I'm focusing on this fantastic early 20th century Canadian artist names Emily Carr and a contemporary indigenous Canadian painter."
"There are artists in Canada?"


A Friend:

"So why exactly do you want to rush back into academia?"
"Because my boobs are too small for me to have a viable career as a porn star."
(tilted head, squinted eyes. pauses. I laugh, they laugh. inquisitor assumes look of relief)